Form follows function

The last few days I haven't felt that great. I have been angry and frustrated with situations that are largely out of my control, namely the actions of other people. Usually I'm pretty good at keeping my head, but I've have lost it a few times. Last night the anger was replaced by an eerie calm. While I enjoy the brief interludes of objectivity and a slightly flat affect, it is perceived by others as cold and detached.

More than one person thinks that my lack of outward emotion indicates that I am unfeeling. This is not the case, but it is how I operate much of the time. I don't have much control over when the switch is flipped. I like to think I do, and sometimes I can voluntarily quell my emotions and reactions to things on such a level that I cannot even perceive them myself unless I completely deconstruct.

I don't particularly like this dead horizon right now, but it is what I see when I look out the window. I have been running on raw feeling for a while and I finally cracked. This sounds worse than it actually is. Down-time is good for me and allows me to examine my motivations and reactions from a more objective viewpoint.

Please, don't mistake this for anything other than what it is.