Saturday, August 26, 2006

xyz

Took a swig from a bottle of sauza, trying to articulate my thoughts. Why? Saturday night and i am here. I think about the general lack of empathy in our society. About how everyone is scared and mistrusting of everyone else. Children trust the phosphorescent god of satellites - may he continue to glow long after I close my eyes. As long as we have electricity our base needs are fulfilled.

I went to school on and off for years. I dropped more courses than the average undergrad will ever take. I only need a couple more to complete my two-year degree and stopped short. I never could figure out what to major in.

It should be simple. Art. Sociology. English. Biology. Education. Accounting. Political Science. Close my eyes and point to the winner. I feel like a loser.

I like to read. I own too many books. I read the same ones over again. I don't like Ayn Rand. I read Black Like Me the other day and was inspired. I am reading Twenty Years at Hull House and feel that same surge of hope. I feel i should do more with my life.

I sound like i'm really bitching but i'm not. Or maybe i am. I like my life. I love my daughter, husband, family. I enjoy my job. I hardly work. I keep my house clean & cook dinner. I like domestic detailing. I will like going to bed in my freshly laundered sheets tonight.

But i know i should do something more.

Maybe tomorrow.

Maybe not.